I have been blessed to have a pastor in my life who has been an example to me for nearly forty years. Don Elmore has influenced my life and ministry in more ways than I could possibly count. I’ve watched him preach, lead, encourage, and shepherd people through both wonderful and difficult seasons. I’ve seen him show tremendous love and grace, and I’ve also watched him exercise tough love when it was necessary. Through it all, he has modeled what it means to faithfully serve as a pastor.
What makes his influence so meaningful is that I’ve seen him in just about every setting imaginable. I’ve watched him preach from the pulpit and lead in front of a national network of pastors. But I’ve also spent countless hours with him on road trips and enjoyed family camping trips together. I’ve seen him in public settings where everyone was watching and in private moments when nobody was paying attention. One thing has remained consistent: he genuinely values people. He doesn’t simply preach about loving people. He demonstrates it, and watching him over the years has taught me lessons about pastoral ministry that no classroom or textbook could ever fully communicate.
His example reminds me of something every pastor needs to consider: people aren’t simply listening to what we preach. They’re watching how we live.
In this series, The Six Jobs of a Pastor, we’ve looked at the pastor as shepherd, preacher, leader, equipper, and guardian. Each of those involves something a pastor is called to do. The sixth and final job is different. It focuses on who the pastor is called to be, and it may be the job that gives the other five their credibility.
Be an Example, Not Just a Teacher
In 1 Timothy 4:12, Paul gives his young ministry protégé a simple but challenging instruction: “Let no one despise your youth, but be an example to the believers in word, in conduct, in love, in spirit, in faith, in purity.” Timothy was apparently young enough that some people might question his authority. Paul’s solution wasn’t to tell him to demand respect or remind everyone of his position. He challenged Timothy to earn it through the way he lived. Paul names six areas:
- In word. Our speech should reflect the truth and grace we preach, publicly, privately, and increasingly, online.
- In conduct. Our actions should show integrity and consistency, whether we’re behind a pulpit or going about everyday life.
- In love. We should care genuinely for people, including those who disagree with us or have little to offer in return.
- In spirit. Our attitudes should reflect the character of Christ, especially when circumstances are difficult.
- In faith. Our lives should show real dependence on God rather than merely talking about trusting Him.
- In purity. Our relationships and decisions should reflect a commitment to holiness.
These aren’t qualities reserved for pastors. They should characterize every follower of Jesus. But pastors carry a responsibility to demonstrate them, because God has entrusted them with spiritual leadership. Paul went even further in 1 Corinthians 11:1: “Imitate me, just as I also imitate Christ.” He could invite people to follow his example because he was intentionally following Jesus. He was pointing people toward the One he was becoming more like. We don’t want people to become more like their pastor. We want them to become more like Jesus.
Character Matters More Than Charisma
We live in a world that celebrates talent, personality, and visible success, and ministry is not immune. It’s easy to be impressed by gifted communicators, dynamic leaders, and growing churches. Those abilities can be tremendous gifts, but they cannot substitute for godly character.
When Paul lists the qualifications for pastoral leadership in 1 Timothy 3:1–7, the overwhelming emphasis is on character. He speaks of being blameless, temperate, sober-minded, hospitable, and gentle, and of having a good testimony. Teaching ability is included, but most of the qualifications describe how a pastor lives rather than how well he performs. A pastor’s gifting may open doors for ministry, but his character determines whether he can faithfully walk through them.
Over the years, I’ve had the privilege of working with and observing many pastors. I’ve seen men with extraordinary gifts accomplish remarkable things for the kingdom, and I’ve watched faithful pastors serve small congregations with little recognition. What I’ve learned is that gifts can carry a pastor a long way, but they can’t carry him forever. You can impress people with your abilities for a season, but eventually your true character will show. It shows up in the moments no one planned for and in places most people never see. And when it does, it either strengthens the trust people have placed in you or erodes it. That’s why lasting spiritual influence is built on trust, and trust is built on consistent character. John Wooden, the legendary UCLA basketball coach, is often credited with saying that the most powerful leadership tool you have is your own personal example. That’s true in basketball, in business, and certainly in the pastorate.
Faithfulness in Everyday Life
Much of a pastor’s work takes place in public. We preach, lead worship, teach classes, conduct funerals, and sit in meetings. But our example extends far beyond those visible moments. How do we speak to our spouse when we’re frustrated? How do we respond when a church member criticizes a decision? How do we treat the server at a restaurant or the person behind the counter at a store? How do we react when our schedule is interrupted by someone who needs our attention? Those moments reveal our character. Character is often revealed in a crisis, but it is built in ordinary, unobserved choices long before the crisis arrives.
That’s what I saw in Don Elmore. His love for people wasn’t reserved for the pulpit or for people who held important positions. It was simply how he lived, and that is what made it so powerful.
A pastor’s example also shapes how his people understand the Christian life. Every pastor asks his congregation to share the gospel, pray, fast, give, and serve. But people quickly learn whether those are things their pastor preaches or things he practices.
Take evangelism. We can preach about the Great Commission, encourage our members to invite their neighbors, and develop outreach strategies, and all of that matters. But are we personally building relationships with people who don’t know Christ? Are we inviting them to church and watching for opportunities to share the gospel? When a pastor tells stories of real gospel conversations and personal invitations, his congregation sees that evangelism isn’t just a church program. It’s a way of life.
The same is true in other areas. If we call our church to pray, our people need to know that their pastor prays, not only in the pulpit but in private. If we teach on fasting, it should be a discipline we practice ourselves. If we challenge them to give generously, they should be able to trust that we give generously ourselves generously. And if we ask them to serve, they should see us serving, whether that means setting up chairs, visiting a neighbor, or helping with a ministry nobody sees. We don’t need to be perfect in any of these, and we don’t need to broadcast our spiritual lives. But we cannot effectively challenge people to consistently do what we’re unwilling to practice ourselves.
Model Humility, Not Perfection
Before anyone feels overwhelmed by the responsibility of being an example, let me offer some encouragement. You don’t have to be perfect. In fact, if you want a regular reminder that you’re not perfect, just have children.
Pastors’ kids have an amazing ability to keep their parents humble. You can spend Sunday morning preaching about patience, kindness, and the fruit of the Spirit, only to have one of your children casually share at lunch after church a story about something that happened at home earlier that week. And children have absolutely no concern about whether their story supports the illustration you were trying to make! They know the person behind the pulpit. They see us when we’re tired, frustrated, or simply having a bad day. That’s not necessarily a bad thing. Our families shouldn’t have to live with a completely different person from the one the congregation sees on Sunday. But neither should they be expected to live with someone who never makes a mistake.
Even the apostle Paul acknowledged that he had not yet attained perfection but was still pressing on toward Christ (Philippians 3:12). If Paul could admit he was still growing, surely the rest of us can too. Sometimes the most powerful example a pastor can give isn’t how he handles success. It’s how he responds when he gets something wrong. Does he acknowledge his mistakes? Is he willing to apologize? Can he receive correction without becoming defensive? I’ve learned that people rarely lose respect for a leader who admits he was wrong. More often, they gain respect for the humility to acknowledge a mistake and make it right. A pastor who preaches about forgiveness should be willing to ask for it, and a pastor who encourages people to grow should never stop growing himself. Pastors aren’t called to model perfection. We’re called to model faithfulness.
Your Example Outlives Your Ministry
Hebrews 13:7 offers an important reminder: “Remember those who rule over you, who have spoken the word of God to you, whose faith follow, considering the outcome of their conduct.” I find that verse especially meaningful when I think of the pastors who have shaped my life.
Decades later, Pastor Elmore’s example still shapes how I think about ministry. I learned from his sermons and his counsel, but the lessons that have lasted came from simply watching how he lives: how he loves people, extends grace, and stays faithful through the challenges of pastoral ministry. I’ve tried to carry that into the way I’ve pastored and led, and I suspect it will shape me for the rest of my life.
That is one of the remarkable privileges of pastoral ministry. Our influence doesn’t necessarily end when we leave a church, retire, or preach our final sermon. Years later, people may not remember the title of a sermon or the details of a ministry initiative. But they may remember how their pastor treated them during a difficult season, or how he stayed faithful when circumstances were uncertain. And perhaps, without even realizing it, they will begin demonstrating those same qualities in their own lives. What people remember most about our ministry may not be what we accomplished, but the kind of people we were while accomplishing it.
Follow Me as I Follow Christ
I want to return to Paul’s words in 1 Corinthians 11:1: “Imitate me, just as I also imitate Christ.” That’s a challenging invitation. Could we say those words to the people we pastor? Could we invite them to observe our conversations, relationships, attitudes, priorities, and daily decisions? Would they see someone who genuinely loves Jesus and is striving to become more like Him? Not someone who has arrived, but someone who is faithfully following Christ.
We’ve considered six responsibilities in this series: shepherd, preacher, leader, equipper, guardian, and example. Each requires different skills, gifts, and abilities, but every one of them must flow from a genuine relationship with Jesus Christ. Before we can faithfully lead others, we must be faithfully following Him ourselves.
So let me leave every pastor with one final question: If the people in my church followed my example, would they become more like Jesus?
That is the responsibility of the pastor as an example, the sixth and final job, and it may be one of the most important responsibilities we will ever fulfill. In the final article of this series, we’ll bring all six responsibilities together and consider an important truth: one pastor cannot do it all, and God never intended him to.
Click here to read The Six Jobs of a Pastor, Part 1: One Calling. Many Responsibilities.
Click here to read The Six Jobs of a Pastor, Part 2: Shepherd
Click here to read The Six Jobs of a Pastor, Part 3: Preacher
Click here to read The Six Jobs of a Pastor, Part 4: Leader
Click here to read The Six Jobs of a Pastor, Part 5: Equipper
Click here to read The Six Jobs of a Pastor, Part 6: Guardian
Click here to read The Six Jobs of a Pastor, Part 7: Example
Click here to read The Six Jobs of a Pastor, Part 8:
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