Parenting in our Urbanized World

“Why are they lying to us?” Her 4-year-old face, innocent, puzzled.

She had explained the situation to the teacher’s aide, a member of our church.  Jose, her friend, had come to Pre-K at 3 years of age.  At 4, his mother, the assistant principal, and her partner, began dressing him as a girl and calling him Juana?

“He’s a boy”, Ebony said, “He’s not a girl.” . . . and then, her question.

This is the world in which you are raising your children.  Your world is urbanized . . . wherever you live.  Urban culture, mores, music, media, and politics influence every square inch of the planet.  What I deal with today in the heart of the city, you deal with tomorrow, wherever you are.

My wife Georgia and I nurtured 5 children in what the Chicago Tribunecalled “the deadliest police beat in the country.” As adults, our children love the Lord and serve Him. Don’t get me wrong.  There were a lot of things I didn’t get right.  In fact, tears came to my eyes this morning as I recalled several fathering failures.  God is good and often overwhelms our lack.  The point is, I know what it’s like to try to raise sane kids, never mind Jesus followers, in this environment.

Cities are now post, post-modern.   If the “post, post” has not reached you yet, it will in a few minutes.  The new moral code, trust me there is one, is driven by cultural trends, political correctness and the moving moods of the masses. Any Judeo-Christian moral framework is not even a distant memory to the millennial generation dominating our cities.

How do you tackle this already difficult assignment of parenting? Can I be blunt? Playtime Christianity will never cut it.  Kids are not stupid.  They pick up your values, your passions, your priorities.  If God is a cultural add-on to your family, you are in major trouble. If God gets an inconsistent Sunday nod in your house, you’re done.

I have no patience for “I don’t want to force my children to go to church, youth group, Bible Study, etc.“ Please!

Do I need to say this? Do you expect them to brush their teeth, take a bath, pick up after themselves, not abuse the dog, go to school?

Do you need revival? Do you need to repent of your lackadaisical Christianity? What are some signs of nominal Christianity?

  • No family altar.
  • Spending habits that don’t reflect Matthew 6:33.
  • Church attendance is debatable, discussable, negotiated or decided week by week.
  • Church engagement is something you occasionally think about “fitting in.”

If Jesus turns around, are you right there or does He have to shade his eyes to see if you’re out there? Mom.  Dad. Get real. You’re either living for Jesus or you’re not.  You’re either on God’s side or you’re not.

Church is not something you go to.  Church is something you’re a part of.  You contribute and you receive.  You need a local church.  This is a key piece in God’s plan for your life.  A New Testament church is your ally.  Your church family cannot do what you need to do in the home. Your church ought to be supporting, encouraging, feeding, nurturing and reinforcing what you are doing at home.  If you’re not living it at home, you’re missing the boat.  If you’re in a church that doesn’t support your “seek first the Kingdom of God” crusade at home, you’re in the wrong church.

Your devotion is no guarantee, but it sets the tone, sets the pace, marks the trail. It communicates powerfully the great truths of God’s plan.

So, yes parents, your lives are weapon #1 in this battle.  You don’t have to be perfect; you do need to be passionate, devoted and demonstrate consistency.  This is the beginning of Biblical grounding for your children.  Your Biblical living is the context in which you communicate a Biblical world view to your children.

You have constant opportunity to interact with your children concerning what God says and why, versus what they are seeing in their world.  You don’t have to damn anyone or bash anyone.  You certainly should not be coming anywhere near or close to being hateful. Appalled? Sure.  Emphatic? Absolutely. Hateful? No.

My dad had a great line that stuck with me.  Confronted with people obviously on a different page from our own beliefs he would say, “They don’t know any better.”

Look.  Issues of sexuality impact every facet of our existence. The devil has turned God’s design on its head.  You can’t afford to be anything but proactive from the earliest ages, teaching God’s design, God’s intention in age-appropriate applications of God’s truth regarding gender and ultimately, marriage.

Don’t be naïve. Your kids are being exposed to stuff that was unthinkable when you were their age. Click To Tweet

Don’t be naïve. Your kids are being exposed to stuff that was unthinkable when you were their age. “I’m protecting my kids,” you say. That may be, but they are right now, or soon will be, around other children who are not being protected.

Children are different. Same family.  Same parents.  Different gender.  Different wiring.  Different personalities.  Different strengths and weaknesses.  Your interaction with them takes that into account.

Obviously, there is a measure of protection parents exercise that is age-appropriate.  We are always striving for balance.  We’re not talking about sheltering.  We are talking about arming our children with the living truth of God for spiritual battle in a world that is hostile to their very existence.

May God help us raise spiritual warriors.